Hello there! I got a letter in the post
Addressed to the previous owner
I don’t know how to pronounce their name
I don’t think they were from round here, you know
Well, I just moved into the area, yeah
That big old thing over the road
It’s a fixer upper though, it’s a fixer upper so
We’re gonna put poundshop terracotta frogs everywhere
And wrap solar power fairy lights round the gutter
Got a prosecco o’clock poster half price in Ikea
Goes nicely with the existential fear I feel
When I accidentally stop and wonder
What I’m really doing here, and how long i’ve got left before i’m six feet under
Can’t believe I’m a two homeowner…
Finally I’m a two homeowner…
The driveways paved with cotswold stone
I got off street parking for the rover,
It’s a fixer upper, yeah, no, not the rover, the rover’s golden
I’m talking about that big old thing over the road
Yeah that big old thing over the road!
Gonna knock through the kitchen wall though, Yeah, I know it’s grade 2 Tudor architecture
But we’re gonna absolutely ruin it all alright? Can’t stand old shite
It’s a fixer upper! It’s a fixer upper! It’s a fixer upper! It’s a fixer upper!
Anyway, this letter, I’ll just post it back ‘return to sender’
Unless you know him, I think…
I think he’s called J… Mr. J Konopinski.
Oh no wait, that’s not an M that’s a D,
Dr J. Konopinski, do you know him?
Sounds a bit Russian to me… Oh! He was Polish was he? I see,
And he had a PhD did he? What in?
Probably one of those pointless media degrees, not for me
University of life ya see, got a thick skin
School of hard knocks, gonna knock through that wall tuesday
Just in case you or the wife are gonna be in
a fixer upper! It’s a fixer upper! It’s a fixer upper! It’s a fixer upper!
Alright mate, sorry about all the commotion yesterday
The bloody builders are refusing to finish the job until I pay em,
But I told em, no one pulls a fast one on Graham
I’m Graham by the way, don’t know if I mentioned
I told ‘em, I’m not made of money, you’re having a laugh
Two homes and a rover, comes from hard graft
I’m not minted, I earnt it, It’s not some funny voodoo business
I didn’t walk on gilded splinters to make the dent I did in under a year
I earnt it, Incase you’re wondering
And as for the builders...
Yeah they’re polish, I’m not bothered about that
But where you come from, it says alot about a man
Like, I’m not from around here, but I am
And, they won’t take cash in hand
What’s with that? Maybe they wouldn’t need the money so fast
If they weren’t willingly giving it all to the tax man
You take what you can get where I’m from
And I’m not from round here, but I am
I don't hear a lot of this kind of music, gives me ,loose Sonic Youth vibes. Everything about it is cool, like too cool for school cool. I want to skip class and spray paint an alley with these people. Kyle Zarnoch
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